Quote of the Day (2013-07-31)

Señor Sanchez: I cannot understand. If I'm a married man, it is my problem. What has it got to do with you? I would not be prejudiced if you were married.

Source: Cactus Flower

Quote of the Day (2013-07-29)

Sybil Fawlty: [on the phone] I know....I know....I know...Oh, I know!

Basil Fawlty: Then why is she telling you?!

Source: Fawlty Towers

Quote of the Day (2013-07-28)

Duff book of records: Springfield is now the fattest city in the U.S.

Homer: Woo Hoo. In your face Milwaukee.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2013-07-27)

Westley: I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me?

Buttercup: Well... you were dead.

Westley: Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.

Buttercup: I will never doubt again.

Westley: There will never be a need.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2013-07-26)

Basil Fawlty: [exasperated with Manuel] Please! Try to understand before one of us dies.

Source: Fawlty Towers

Quote of the Day (2013-07-25)

Alicia: There's nothing like a love song to give you a good laugh.

Source: Notorious

Quote of the Day (2013-07-24)

LAUNCELOT Brave, brave Concorde! You shall not have died in vain!

CONCORDE: Uh, I'm-I'm not quite dead, sir.

LAUNCELOT: Well, you shall not have been mortally wounded in vain!

CONCORDE: Uh, I-I think uh, I could pull through, sir.

LAUNCELOT: Oh, I see.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2013-07-23)

And Sir Robin-the-not-quite-so-pure-as-Sir-Launcelot, who had nearly fought the Dragon of Agnor, who had nearly stood up to to the vicious Chicken of Bristol, and who had personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon Hill.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2013-07-22)

[Niles' new ad, which should describe him as a Jung specialist]

Niles: Remember the ad I placed. They have made a tiny little typo. See if you can find it.

Frasier: Niles Crane . . . Hung Specialist

Niles: The rest they got perfectly. Servicing individuals, couples, groups. Satisfaction guaranteed. Tell me when it hurts.

Source: Frasier

Quote of the Day (2013-07-21)

Sir Humphrey: "We must, in my view, always have the right to promote the best man for the job, regardless of sex."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2013-07-20)

"This is our best model, the Cougar 9000. It's the Rolls Royce of wheelchairs. This is like, you're almost glad to be handicapped."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2013-07-19)

Ian Faith: The Boston gig has been cancelled...

David St. Hubbins: What?

Ian Faith: Yeah. I wouldn't worry about it though, it's not a big college town.

Source: This is Spinal Tap

Quote of the Day (2013-07-18)

Vanessa Loring: You think you're really going to do this?

Juno MacGuff: Yea, if I could just have the thing and give it to you now, I totally would. But I'm guessing it looks probably like a sea monkey right now and we should let it get a little cuter.

Vanessa Loring: That's great.

Mark Loring: Keep it in the oven.

Source: Juno

Quote of the Day (2013-07-17)

Clouseau: Does your dog bite?

Hotel Clerk: No.

Clouseau: [bowing down to pet the dog] Nice doggie.

[Dog barks and bites Clouseau in the hand]

Clouseau: I thought you said your dog did not bite!

Hotel Clerk: That is not my dog.

Source: The Pink Panther Strikes Again

Quote of the Day (2013-07-16)

Carol: OK, we all have these terrible stories to get over, and you-...

Melvin Udall: It's not true. Some have great stories, pretty stories that take place at lakes with boats and friends and noodle salad. Just no one in this car. But, a lot of people, that's their story. Good times, noodle salad. What makes it so hard is not that you had it bad, but that you're that pissed that so many others had it good.

Source: As Good As It Gets

Quote of the Day (2013-07-15)

Carol: Fucking H.M.O. bastard pieces of shit!

Beverly Connelly: Carol!

Carol: Sorry.

Dr. Martin Bettes: It's okay. Actually, I think that's their technical name.

Source: As Good As It Gets

Quote of the Day (2013-07-14)

Philip: Oh, I tell you. Women are not the sensitive sex. That's one of the grand delusions of literature. Men are the true romanticists.

Source: Indiscreet

Quote of the Day (2013-07-13)

Gale: All right, ya hayseeds, it's a stick-up. Everybody freeze. Everybody down on the ground.

Feisty Hayseed: Well, which is it, young feller? You want I should freeze or get down on the ground? Mean to say, if'n I freeze, I can't rightly drop. And if'n I drop, I'm a-gonna be in motion. You see...

Gale: Shut up!

Feisty Hayseed: Okay then.

Gale: Everybody down on the ground!

Evelle: Y'all can just forget that part about freezin' now.

Gale: Better still to get down there.

Evelle: Yeah, y'all hear that, don't ya?

[Everybody lays down. Gale looks at the now-empty teller windows]

Gale: Shit! Where'd all the tellers go?

Teller's voices: We're down here, sir.

Evelle: They're on the floor as you commanded, Gale.

Source: Raising Arizona

Quote of the Day (2013-07-12)

Kent Brockman: Scott, things aren't as happy as they used to be down here at the unemployment office. Joblessness is no longer just for Philosophy majors - useful people are starting to feel the pinch.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2013-07-11)

"I'm in the unfortunate position of having to consider other people's feelings."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2013-07-10)

And the aptly named Sir Not-appearing-in-this-film.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2013-07-09)

Ian Faith: They're not gonna release the album... because they have decided that the cover is sexist.

Nigel Tufnel: Well, so what? What's wrong with bein' sexy? I mean there's no...

Ian Faith: Sex-IST!

David St. Hubbins: IST!

Source: This is Spinal Tap

Quote of the Day (2013-07-08)

Lilith: I'm here for a convention and I happened to hear your voice on the radio. I kept hoping you'd introduce Pearl Jam's latest hit, but much to my chagrin, you were doling out worthless little advice pellets from your psychiatric pez dispenser.

Source: Frasier

Quote of the Day (2013-07-07)

This is supposed to be a happy occasion! Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2013-07-06)

C. K. Dexter Haven: [looking for the "hair of the dog"] Do you s'pose, sir, speaking of eye-openers...?

Uncle Willie: Oh, that's the first sane remark I've heard today. C'malong, Dexter, I know a formula that's said to pop the pennies off the eyelids of dead Irishmen.

Source: The Philadelphia Story

Quote of the Day (2013-07-05)

Ugarte: You know, Rick, I have many a friend in Casablanca, but somehow, just because you despise me, you are the only one I trust.

Source: Casablanca

Quote of the Day (2013-07-04)

What is your favorite color? Blue. No. AAAAHHHHH!

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2013-07-03)

Archie Bunker: You'd better start mixing toothpaste with your shampoo. You're getting a cavity in your brain.

Source: All in the Family

Quote of the Day (2013-07-02)

Mr. Smiley's Manager: I don't think you'd fit in here.

Lester Burnham: I have fast food experience.

Mr. Smiley's Manager: Yeah, like twenty years ago!

Lester Burnham: Well, I'm sure there have been amazing technological advances in the industry, but surely you must have some sort of training program. It seems unfair to presume I won't be able to learn.

Source: American Beauty

Quote of the Day (2013-07-01)

Frasier: I remember the very first time I ever held him [Frederick] in my arms as a newborn. It was as if everything else in the universe simply melted away. There was just a father, a son, and the distant sound of Lilith saying, "If you ever come near me again, Frasier, I'll drop you with a deer rifle."

Source: Frasier